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Our son and brother Bruno Bedggood

in

Here is a message I want to share with the Indymedia community.

FURTHER UPDATE:
We'll be having a gathering of the family and friends of Bruno on his 30th birthday, 14 April
at Green Bay High and Titirangi Beach.
If you want to come ring 09 817 7470

UPDATE: Bruno's funeral will be held at Waikumete Cemetery, Grt North Road, Glen Eden, Auckland
at 3pm, Sunday 28th January.

Our son, Bruno "Chewbacca" Samuel Bedggood, killed himself on Wednesday, 24th January, 2007, aged 29 years.

He died where he was conceived, born and lived for 30 years.

He was a tormented, alienated young man, alienated from the capitalist world which he had travelled and lived in as a child and youth with his family.

Like the capitalist media which said we could not say Bruno killed himself.

He was an intelligent, gifted child who had a love for classical music, especially Mozart and Beethoven, for Chaucer, for Shakespeare, for the Russian, German, Old English, Norse, languages, and for Doctor Who, Blakes 7, Starwars, Blackadder and Black Books.

Tormented, because these loves, which became his private world, could not overcome the desolation of his life on this earth.

Alienated from others who could not tolerate his cynicism and withering honesty.

Like the psychologist who told him he should not wear his Doc Martens on Ponsonby Road.

Finally alienated from us, his family and friends who could not fully see or feel the huge pain and break out of our own alienation to grab and hold onto him.

In the end he chose to end his life in the place of his conception, birth and life, under the tall Kauri, with the Tui, and the graves of his dead pets.

Bruno will never leave our hearts and minds, he will be everywhere we are, with us, in us.

That will make us strong to fight for the wasted genius of our lost youth that this capitalist world destroys every minute of every day.

Viva Bruno!

Death to Capitalism!

Love forever,

Dave
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's some words from Zaid that I could not read at the funeral.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stolen glances and muted thoughts
understanding, knowing smiles, and ignorance.
"How do I climb this wall?"
Puzzled. Confused. Bemused.
Puzzled. "Its too hard"
I give up. I surrender.
Too many surrenders..
I could not see.I did not hear.
I did not understand the very words I spoke till I was hoarse
and I surrendered (one more surrender)
only now do I understand:
I do not climb this wall at all -
we must smash the walls together.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a couple of poems we read at his funeral dating from 1994 when Bruno was 17.

Excerpt from a poem in praise of Schubert –
Bruno Bedggood.

Those beloved of the Gods die young
‘Tis often said of Amadeus
Yet not so often of a spirit unsung
Who richly deserves a place on the dais
Of musical immortality, for none
Have so richly deserved “Vita brevis
Ars Longa” as their life’s motto:
His fulfils the title in toto

O thou, Schubert, who takest thy raw
Musical impulse, naturally endowed
And temperest the rough but golden ore
Into such a beauteous and delicate crowd
Of perfect strands of melody and harmony which soar,
Though born thereof, over the mundane, loud
And majestic, then gentle breaths:
A mighty hymn of life and death

The gay and the melancholy: both present
In his art and they are travellers with us all
On the long (or short and untimely rent)
Journey from birth to sepulchral thrall
Are witness to a short life spent
In joy at parties, cafés and balls
As well as in company and expectation of man’s truest friend:
He who comes to herald of life at end.

Русскŭŭ Язьіқ -
Bruno Bedggood (22 August 1994)

Learning Russian’s a lot of fun,
Though it’s not an easy tongue.
For one, it’s in the Cyrillic Alphabet,
Which takes a bit of time to get
Into your head, and then the conjugations
Of verbs, have a lot of complications
(The less said about tense the better:
I wouldn’t deter you from Russian altogether)
Besides that, the system of declension
Of nouns always causes apprehension
One thing always sure to curb
The Scholar’s ardour is the Russian adverb
And as for the vagaries of the adjectival system
There isn’t really enough space here to list ‘em,
But in spite of the hardships of the foregoing list
I think I really must insist
That it’s worth the trouble learning the tongue
(For me, I must confess, the difficulty’s half the fun)
When, after all the toil and labour,
One may at last begin to savour
The eternal glories of Dostoevsky,
Pushkin, Tolstoy, and Zhukovsky
Not to mention Lermentov
Turgenev, Gogol and Nekiasov,
Maxim Gorky and Anton Chekhov
And in the present century, Bulgakov:
The candour of these names will never fade through time
(Though as you can see they’re rather hard to rhyme).
So in ending I will say – learn Russian, if you’ll take the time and trouble, you’ll be paid back in full:
It’s a melodious and useful tongue,
And learning it’s a lot of fun
(I’m very sorry to use for the third time
The tiresome pun on fun and tongue rhyme).

#file_3#

Bruno and Fomison's "What shall we tell them?"
Our Son and Brother Bruno aged 27
Bruno in Ponga
My son Bruno

Comments

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

This is really sad. Condolences to your family and all Bruno's loved ones.

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

It's tragedies like this that put all our petty differences and debates into perspective. We can't afford to lose good people this way. If there's one thing we must never let the system take from us it is our hope in the possibility of a better one.

Ka nui te mihi ki a Dave ratou ko tana whanau. My thoughts are with you.

Strypey

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

another victim of this sick society and fucked up earth

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

I am so sorry. Take care.

In solidarity,

John Anderson

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dear Dave,

I would like to express my sincere condolences and send my thoughts and prayers to you and your family at this difficult time.

Although I didn't know your son, I can infer from this short period of time that I know his dad, how kind and compassionate he was in his life.

No comfort is quite enough to replace this tragic loss.

My deepest sympathies on to you, Janet and your beloved family.

May your heart mend and your memories stay strong.

Babak

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dear Dave,

I would like to express my sincere condolences and send my thoughts and prayers to you and your family at this difficult time.

Although I didn't know your son, I can infer from this short period of time that I know his dad, how kind and compassionate he was in his life.

No comfort is quite enough to replace this tragic loss.

My deepest sympathies on to you, Janet and your beloved family.

May your heart mend and your memories stay strong.

Babak

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

It is the hardest thing to have to bury your son. Dave, thanks for sharing your message with us all at this time.

kia kaha,
Don Franks

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dave,

I'm so sorry to hear this tragic news. It's hard to imagine anything more painful. Please pass on my sympathy and best wishes to Janet too.

Daphna

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dave,

I'm so sorry to hear this tragic news. It's hard to imagine anything more painful. Please pass on my sympathy and best wishes to Janet too.

Daphna

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dear Dave
So sorry to hear about Bruno and am thinking of you, Janet and the family constantly at this terrible time
Angela

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Even though I didn't know Bruno, his death is a message to us and, I hope that in some way Bruno's life will inspire all of us to look after every single person we know and to put aside all of our fears and remember that every single person we know needs to be looked after, to be valued and to be cared for. Without this love we will forever be saying farewell to those we love and hold dear. As Bruno (and all Star Wars fans) would appreciate, this is what we miss today in the reality of modern day capitalism, this, " energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."

UNITY AND SOLIDARITY
FOREVER

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

That's really sad. There's too much of this going on in this little country. I've known quite a few suicides.

Yet as you stated, we're not allowed to talk about it in the media. That's something that really stings. These are our people, our friends and family and you've got a small group of officials somewhere who've decided that it should all be neatly swept under the rug.

I remember around the same time a friend of mine chose to end his own life there was some prick on the telly who had the gall to say "Tell ten young people not to think about elephants and at least nine of them will."

I spat tacks over that quote. You know, it's like yeah, just shut up and let the "experts" handle it.

It's that sort of patronising, high handed bullshit that alienates people in the first place.

The authorities don't want anyone realising just how many people out are deeply unhappy to the point of self destruction.

That's all probably a bit rambly. Just really close to home though.

I've never met you but I feel for you right now.

Solid,

Andy T Coombs

Viva Bruno

Condolences Dave, Janet and family

from Joe and the comrades in Socialist Worker

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

I've put a public message to Dave and Janet on my blog at:
http://readingthemaps.blogspot.com/2007/01/for-dave-and-janet.html

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dave and Janet, I am so sorry for your loss. Kia kaha, arohanui
Miriam Pierard

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dear Dave & Janet

Please accept the deepfelt condolences of myself and other Socialist Worker comrades in the loss of your son Bruno.

I'm in the process of making some homemade wine. In 12 months' time, when you and your family commemorate the first anniversary of Bruno's death, I will send you a few bottles so you can share an organic socialist toast to your son.

Solidarity comrades,
Grant Morgan

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

David,
My deepest condolences to you, Janet and the family.
I will never forget my brother Bruno.

Yours always
Zaid Al Samaraie

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

What a sad story. I have known what is is like to be a lonely place, not so much like Bruno's but in some ways similarly. I feel for his family as it is very sad.He looks like a lovely guy and it is just so sad to lose people like this.

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

My heartfelt condolences also Dave, to you and Janet, your whanau and friends. Thank you for sharing as you have - it is a very powerful post, and valuable.
Julie Fairey

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Hey Dave,
This is very powerful; I speak as an activist mother, with children at various stages on the journey through adolescence to adulthood.
My eldest daughter has had friends with anorexia, sexual abuse issues, and suicidal tendancies, and I am very priviledged to be able to be invited by her to discuss options and attitudes around this stuff. To name the problem, validate the life being lived, however good or bad, is a step that many young people don't get because of restrictive, prescriptive counselling practices in schools, and censored reporting in the news doesn't help their feelings of isolation.

By naming the cause of your grief, you have opened your life to both criticism and support. I send you the support of a stranger, albeit linked in to some of the groups who have already posted, and commend you on your courage in posting on this forum. The pain of a depressed child is felt keenly by the parents, as I know too well; your son's choice to end his life in a place he felt nurtured suggests he wished to make the journey lighter for you by acknowledging the good that even so was not enough.
Ultimately, autonomy is what one wants for an adult child, and with that must go acceptance of that adult's autonomous excercise of choice.
Viva Bruno, but also viva Dave & Janet, all of us can take strength to fight for the rights of the youth amongst us against the capitalist clobbering machine we call youth employment.
Kerry

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

"his death is a message to us and, I hope that in some way Bruno's life will inspire all of us to look after every single person we know and to put aside all of our fears and remember that every single person we know needs to be looked after, to be valued and to be cared for."

that'll be the day.
Paritutu?

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Thanks for all the expressions of support.
Bruno had his funeral yesterday and the best thing about the service was those who spoke of fighting the 'epidemic' of youth suicide.

What we need to fight for youth to survive and to smash capitalism, are youth brigades in the class war that takes up direct action for youth against the legal, medical and family structures that only deal with symptoms and cover up the real causes.

There may be physiological, psychological and other contributing causes of suicide, but the real cause is alienation from capitalist society. Immediate causes may be prevented in the short term by medication etc but this leaves the real causes untouched.

That means that youth have to fight directly against all the structures of capitalism every day which maintain capitalism and are part of the problem.

That includes the 'legal rights' of individuals to make their own 'decisions', which prevents the suicide being seen as a capitalist reality. The fact is that these are not THEIR decisions, but the result of the ongoing effects of alienation.

Alienation begins in our society in the family which is structured to produce obedient, hardworking youth ready for wage slavery. This means that they are innoculated in the nursery with all forms of alienation.

They get a multivaccine for any deviation from the 'possessive individual' personality that is the requirement of capitalist wage slavery so that labour can be 'alienated' (expropriated) from the worker.

What follows is the alienation from one another in the competition to pit each individual against the other to drive down wages. The 'freedom' of playcentres and kindys is already structured for job skills. The battle for an education to get a good job increases the pressures many times through high school onto university.

The alienation from onself follows directly. Because, if your self is nothing more than 'winning' in the capitalist dog eat dog world, then the person that results is nothing but a hollowed out labourer prevented from realising his or her abilities.

Bruno was a brave boy in rejecting all attempts to make him conform to this alienated regime. But he could not escape it because there exists no social alternative to capitalist individualism. So he retreated more into his defensive self in an idealised medieval world of romantic notions of death and beauty. I understand his depression to be the inevitable result of his rejection of a bourgeois self.

And despite his parents being Marxists and understanding that the bourgeois family is an alienation machine, we could not break out of this trap ourselves. As Marx said, ideas are the product of material conditions. Even Marxist families within capitalist society cannot create a haven of socialism, where youth can be liberated.

This brings me back to youth brigades (or somesuch movement). These are needed to provide the material elements of an alternative to capitalism, as independent of bourgeois families, and the whole legal/medical model of 'labelling' youth as deviant, ill, depressive etc. They would be the means of fighting for a program for youth to meet their needs. They could create alternative ways of living as part of a working class movement for socialism.

Youth brigades would have to fight also within the working class to counter the bourgeois pressures that operate in the union movement as well. Just as women have to fight to counter the patriarchal pressures in the working class.

These are some ideas in response to what many people have written and said in the days since Bruno died. They are a way for me of trying to put into practice the idea of 'viva Bruno, and death to capitalism'. How to do it?

Love
Dave

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

David,

The additional photograph of Bruno speaks volumes;both the similarities & the differences.

Viva Bruno!
KIll Kapitalism !
J. O'C.

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

David,

The additional photograph of Bruno speaks volumes;both the similarities & the differences.

Viva Bruno!
KIll Kapitalism !
J. O'C.

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

David,

The additional photograph of Bruno speaks volumes;both the similarities & the differences.

Viva Bruno!
KIll Kapitalism !
J. O'C.

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

David,

The additional photograph of Bruno speaks volumes;both the similarities & the differences.

Viva Bruno!
KIll Kapitalism !
J. O'C.

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Dave,

I only found out about this tragic event yesterday. It's hard to know what to say when things like this happen. I am really sorry! My
condolences to you and all the family and friends who knew and loved Bruno.

I hope in 2007 we can make some advances towards ending this brutal and alienating capitalist system.

Nick Kelly

Re: Our son and brother Bruno

Hi dave,
I knew Bruno only as a small toddler, yet I was still shocked and saddened to here of this tragedy. I remember a vivacious, curious, youngster in nappies carening around the bedggood's magical (so it seemed to me) multi-layered home in the bush, testing his brothers endurance. Please pass on my wishes to janet, Julian, & Daniel.

-Aroha,

David Simms

Re: Our son and brother Bruno Bedggood

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often in his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall Death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Shakespeare, Sonnet 18